“I’m fighting to judge others. How can I get less judgmental? “
When you dissect it, judgmentalism really comes down to this: When a person is really safe with himself, he has no reason and he has to judge others. They have their own identity and are not insecure or envious or jealous of the position of anyone else. But when you’re insecure and you’re struggling with yourself, you’re very prone to judgment and criticism. Judgmentalism in someone’s life is a chance to look into your heart and soul and figure out: What do you stand for? If you can’t answer the question-“What do I mean? What do I think? For what reasons am I ready to fight? What’s my passion for? “-be assured that you are likely to criticize others because you don’t have your own identity, so the easiest thing to do is to criticize someone else.
Judgmentalism is something funny. Usually it’s very emotional. Judgmentalism is not restricted to Christianity or other religious beliefs. It is not a thing of religion. It’s something human. Judgmentalism is available in all forms and sizes. Those who follow a certain diet often judge those who eat anything they want. Those who rise early judge late-sleepers. The person who gets everything as looks at those with Cs. When they were married, the person who was a virgin judges the promiscuous. Those who hammer at home (and vice versa) hammer those who don’t. The married judge the divorced. Those who teach their children to play attract attention to those who let their children watch too much TV. Those who go to church on Sunday try to make those who go on Saturday straight. Those involved in politics correct those who didn’t care less. Every Friday, those who have a date night try to fix those who don’t. Those who don’t have a Facebook account are right. You don’t have to believe in God, you don’t have to go to church or open a Bible.
Now other people do things that deserve to be challenged; maybe they deserve judgment. But we’re not sitting in judgment. Each of us has our own shortcomings and weaknesses. When we judge others, we put their judgment on us in a sense. The healthiest thing to do, particularly if you care about someone, is not to judge them, but to try to improve the situation. But again, it’s about being safe. You won’t be involved in a constructive and productive type of criticism if you’re unsure. It’s going to be a critique saying, “If you’re wrong, I’ll be right.” Secure people, really healthy people, don’t need others to be wrong to be right.
Unfortunately, with all our technologies and all our comforts, we live in a very unsafe world. There’s some erosion in the inner self. Maybe from growing up in homes where we were not validated or criticized by our parents. Maybe it’s because of other social factors-the mentality of dog-eats-dogs. Judgmentalism is an outgrowth of inner insecurity, no matter why. To challenge your own judgmentalism, find out what you stand for and what you believe in, what makes you tick, why you are here, and what makes you indispensable in the big equation.
Author: Humaira Azam