The thought of speaking out at a meeting or rejecting the proposal of a friend is something very harsh. But being assertive and standing up for your voice is not that much scary as some people think. Assertiveness is that you stand out for yourself and asking for right in a calm and positive way, without being aggressive and harsh. There is nothing wrong in nicely pointing out what you do want, what’s wrong, and what’s right. Assertiveness is a practical skill and can be applied in any situation of our life. Whether it’s your workplace, friend circle, family gatherings etc, the ability to express your likings and disliking is far more important than treating like a doormat, for always being silent and putting others before yourself.
Following are the few tips that can help you that how you can stay assertive in everyday life.
When you listen attentively what the other person is saying, it gets easier for you to analyze the situation and understand it differently. If you are in a situation where a person is criticizing you, instead of getting stubborn, stay calm and listen to him actively without interrupting him to explain your views. Once he finished his talk, express your point of view politely and positively. If you disagree, explain why. And don’t feel guilty in pouring your heart out, this can really help when you learning to be assertive.
Focus on Open and Direct Communication:
Being assertive does not mean that you are becoming rude or mean. Being assertive is a great way to express yourself without being negative in doing so. Even if you disagree with what you say, you should respect others. You should then be able to share your feelings, wishes or needs while still thinking about the feelings of the other person and being polite. For Example, If someone asks you to help him again in house chores but you have no time, instead of saying ‘NO’ bluntly, you can say ‘ I really enjoy your company and love helping you in house chore but today I have no time, I am sorry.’
Learn to say ‘NO’:
It’s hard to say “no,” especially if you’re not used to it, but if you want to be more assertive, it’s vital. Focus on yourself and the burden of responsibilities you have on your shoulders and then decide whether you should say yes or no to anyone. Remember that you can’t do everything or please everyone, so you need to protect your time and workload by saying ‘no’ when necessary. Try to find a win-win solution that works for everyone when you have to say ‘no’.
Voice your need and wants confidently:
Express your inner feeling confidently to others so that they can know with what you are going through. Expecting from others that they identify your feelings without being told by you is something very lame. In this busy world nobody has time for others